My Path

When the tick tocks of my unemployment began to get louder these past 2 weeks, I started to pray that my path be shown to me, to please show me what I needed to learn from all of this.

Today I believe I got my answer as I was driving home from the WorkSource.

I needed all these rejection, and perseverance to show me that I am so much stronger that I EVER thought I was, and that I no longer run and hide when things get tough.

Blah

I created this blog so I could extend on some of the feelings I put in my pictures. I had stayed away because I'm overwhelmed with feelings and just didn't want to burden you with them but hey this is why I created this particular blog so deal with it. :)

A friend recently sent me an email saying how proud she is of me for not giving up and still trying so hard to find a job even after a few rejections. My thoughts are that I really have no choice. She told me that I could curl up in a fetal position and cry. That is so true because today I have wanted to do that a few times.

I just wish I knew what I was doing wrong at interviews. I got a call today from my WorkSource* case worker. Last Thursday they got an email from the company that turned me down on Friday that they have an opening for something in my field. Since I spoke with them on Friday she was surprised they didn't mention this position to me. This really deflated me even more.

Tomorrow I am going to a job fair, Friday I have an appointment at a temp agency, Monday I have a test because I might possible be going to a vocational school, and Tuesday I have an interview. Please say a prayer for me.

Bummed

I didn't get the job. I've been to two other interviews and I think I did well, but I always feel that way after an interview. What am I doing wrong?

I know that there is a plan and something great will come of all this, but it's hard to keep the faith after a few rejections. Please say a prayer for me. Thank you.

No one puts baby in the corner!

I hope that all our prayers make Patrick Swayze healthy.

Love the Song.

Patrick Swayze's - She's Like The Wind

Kitchen Cabinets.

Before After




I had a bunch of other junk on the right hand side but I couldn't open the cabinet door before because the hinge has lost the top screws and it took me until now to repair.

This is the cabinet I got rid of most of my stuff from, it's the baking cabinet. I haven't truly baked in over a year.

Currently my pantry is a bit bare, haven't gone to the grocery store yet but I think this is how it's going to look going forward. Peter say it's best to plan meals, shop and only have what you are going to need for one week.

Does anyone else have their meds in the kitchen. I so know that it's not where the belong, but it just makes it so convenient since the cups and water are in the kitchen.

As cluttered as my other cabinets were, I've been a little puzzled that shelf's for the glasses, plates and bowels have always been organized.

Forgot to take an after pic this shelf, and it's not because I hid everything in there :) The only things that stayed were the oils, and those will be moving from there very soon.

Kitchen Done

I finished before schedule, I just need to figure out if I am keeping the pots were I currently have them. Here's some videos of how the kitchen used to look, and how it looks now.

D Day, sort of ...

My family won.

The picture is funny. I laughed when I saw my son by the door but it was no joke they were so adament about me not taking memories out of our home. I tried so hard to explain that memories are in are mind and heart, things don't posses memories. They wanted none of it, all they were saying was that it was my friend's fault for buying me that book to put ideas in my head.

I did take stuff out but very little to do with the kitchen. So this is the plan*, every trash day in March I will take out little by little. When they realize what I did, it will be too late. I know it's deceitful and sneacky but really. I have 4 or 5 different set of dishes that have not been used in over a year.

*The husband or children don't read this blog, just the one with the pictures and that's very rare. So I sure can get away with this.

D Day Problem

The husband is sitting guard by the front door so I don't take out the clutter from the kitchen. My family blames my friend for sending me the book, and my son said he is going to send her a strongly worded email :)

Funniest thing is that the husband can't believe I want to get rid of memories, specially the Hard Rock Cafe beer mug. HELLO we have never been to the Hard Rock.

The irony of the whole thing is that the husband constantly complains about my mess and this is the second time I want to get rid of things that he puts up a huge fuzz over it. I will prevail, even if I have to wait till midnight to take the stuff out.

D Day

Today is the day all the clutter from my kitchen is leaving.

There just one problem, the husband doesn't want any of the stuff to go. How does one deal with those things?


His reasoning is that we will need them when we get a bigger home, my reply is that when we get a bigger home we can get nicer matching dishes. He wants me to pack up the stuff so he can store them in the attic. Ugh. I feel bad for not taking his opinion into consideration but I am getting rid of the stuff. I am giving in a bit. I am keeping the shot glasses, those are the ones he was most upset about, since we got them as souvenirs to places we have been.*

Plus I'm selling princess house now, I can get nicer dishes than what we have. I am getting rid of a china set and having doubts about it but it's hasn't been used in 2 years.

*I'll get rid of them later, just need to work on him a bit :P
**I'm getting rid of everything on the self and then some, plus what on the floor except for the iron.

Here some progress I have done.

Junk Drawer no More

Yellow Container

These are the yellow containers I wrote about yesterday.

The organization is Planet Aid.

Per the Planet Aid web site:

Items donated to Planet Aid are resold and proceeds are used to support education, community development and HIV/AIDS programs in Africa and Asia.

The clothing is regularly collected by one of our drivers and brought to our warehouse. The clothing is then packaged for re-sale before being shipped out by truck. Much of the clothing is either re-sold in U.S. and Canadian thrift shops or exported in bulk overseas to developing countries. Some of the clothing is donated to projects and organizations that we support.

Knowing that I am helping out a cause with my clothes clutter gives me the warm fuzzy's.

Clutter and Big Butt

While reading Does This Clutter make my Butt Look Fat I have been inspired to get rid of a lot of clutter that I have been meaning to get rid off.

I took bags of shoes and clothes to these yellow containers that are around my town.* I have been decluttering my kitchen. I took before pictures and I will post them when I am done. The goal if for end of the week. I am waiting for Trash day. I'm taking all the stuff out that night before and leaving them by the curve.**

*I'll drive by one of them to note down the organization that does it.
**I leave the stuff by the trash cans and by morning the stuff is gone. Truly rings true about some people's trash is other people's treasures.

No Teli

When the husband and children are home, giving up the Teli is hard.

AND giving it up cold turkey is just not going to work, so I am going to ween myself off it. I don't want to say I'm only giving myself certain hours a day but I am going to watch a lot less. The goal is that when the weekend comes I can walk away from a turned on TV.

Clutter + Fat

My dear friend sent me the book Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat By Peter Walsh.

It's the reason behind the post about my shoe clutter. My friend didn't eventhis, or how I loved watching Peter Walsh on Clean Sweep. I always wanted Peter to come to my home and I guess through his book he has :)

Peter has great tid bits in the book that have truly hit a core.

Every time you put a bite in your mouth, you are choosing to bring that piece of food into your body, to add to your weight problem. Keep in mind: Every roll of fat on your body came from something you chose to put into your mouth. And every pound that slips away is going to be because of a decision you make.>

One of the things he ask of us to do is give up TV for 30 days. I am a TVphene. The TV is on from the moment I wake up, to the moment I go to sleep. Giving up the teli is going to be excruciatingly hard, but there have been time while I am watching the TV that I think that there are other things (more productive things) I should be doing.

Shoes and more Shoes

Update to Day 53 from my blog 365 Days of me.
I cleaned out my shoes today. I wanted to narrow it down to 10 pairs but who am I kidding.

These were all the shoes I had, I was going to count and get all technical on what I had but that was just going to prolong the purge.

This is how much I kept. (The ones on the left are not mine, so they are also leaving)

This is how my closet looks now, seeing it still a bit cluttered I want to get git of some more, but I really don't want to get ahead of myself. Maybe I will use the all in the next 6 months. :)

Feeling sick

It has to be the stress that is weakening my immune system. I hardly ever get sick. Now I have been getting sick about once a month. I DON'T LIKE IT.

On the job front I signed up at an employment agency today. Fingers crossed that something great will come from this.

The Gospel

Yesterday's (Ash Wednesday) Gospel hit a place in my soul that is making me see life differently. I used to do A LOT of things because I wanted recognizion for what I did.




A reading from the holy Gospel according to Matthew

Jesus said to his disciples:
"Take care not to perform righteous deeds
in order that people may see them:
otherwise, you will have no recompense
from your heavenly Father.
When you give alms,
do not blow a trumpet before you,
as the hypocrites do in the synagogues
and in the streets
to win the praise of others.
Amen, I say to you,
they have received their reward.
But when you give alms,
do no let your left hand know what your right is doing,
so that your almsgiving may be secret.
And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.
"when you pray,
do not be like the hypocrites,
who love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on
street corners
so that others may see them.
Amen, I say to you.
they have received their reward.
But when you pray, go to your inner room,
close the door, and pray to your Father in secret.
And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.

"When you fast,
do not look gloomy like hypocrites.
They neglect their appearance,
so that they may appear to others to be fasting.
Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward.
But when you fast,
anoint your head and wash your face,
so that you may not appear to be fasting,
except to your Father who is hidden.
And your Father who sees what is hidden will repay you."

Any Soldier

Priort to being laid off I regularly sent packages to the soildires in the middle east. I was so into it that I have a couple of subscriptions to some magazines and I have subscriptions to about 5 magazines. I haven't sent out a package since about late August, I have a stack of them now.

Today I started to sort them to make a few packages. I used to rationalized that I am unemployed I can't afford the $8.95 it takes to send out a flat rate box, but their value is so much more that. Them fighting for my and others freedome is worth so much more.

This weekend I will be sending out a couple of packages.

Prayer for Employment

And because I know I am not the only looking for employment

Father, we pray for those in our nation who have lost their jobs. You promised, and we believe that You supply to the full their every need. You know their work records and what they are doing. We ask You to set before them doors of employment that no one is able to shut. We pray that they will prize Wisdom and acknowledge that You are the One who gives power to get wealth. In everything they do give them the grace to put You first, and You will direct them and crown their efforts with success. Cause them to increase in Wisdom and in Favor with You, Father, and with man, in the name of Jesus. Amen.

(copied from here

Prayer for Employment

God, our Father, I turn to you seeking your divine help and guidance as I look for suitable employment. I need your wisdom to guide my footsteps along the right path, and to lead me to find the proper things to say and do in this quest. I wish to use the gifts and talents you have given me, but I need the opportunity to do so with gainful employment. Do not abandon me, dear Father, in this search, but rather grant me this favor I seek so that I may return to you with praise and thanksgiving for your gracious assistance. Grant this through Christ, our Lord. Amen.

(copied from here

Employment Prayer

Mary our Lady of the Miraculous Medal,
you once experienced hardships and difficulties
in getting the necessities of life.
Look kindly on me now
as I face the same difficulties.
Help me to find suitable employment.
Through my work I want to meet my physical needs
and to grow spiritually.
Help me find a job that lets me provide for myself
and for those who depend on me.
I trust you, Immaculate Mother,
to hear my prayers and intercede for me.
I will share your goodness with others
that they may know your power with God
and give him honor and glory.
Amen.

(copied from here)

Computer Crashed

Our home computer crashed. Fourtunetly we have a couple of laptops but they are a bit outdated. I'm going to have to do a blog roll* on my site to remember blogs I read, some I never bothered to learn the names.

I'm so bummed that there is a possibility that I lost so much, specially my pictures. This is why it's not good ot procrstinate. I was going to get around saving them on disc. :(

*I did a blog roll on my other blog, not all the blogs I read but I am still looking for some.

AdSense

SONY DSLR Alpha
Originally uploaded by Livid Torvalds

I've added AdSense to my blogs. The goal is to get one of these Sony cameras. Please click away on the ads, you might just like one of them.

I'm grateful for your help.

21 Days

I've been surfing looking for weigh loss forum. I haven't really found one yet that has truly grabbed me, but I did run into an interesting thread. Forming or breaking a habit in 21 days. I'm sure we have all heard this one, but how many of us have really followed through for 21 days.

Starting from today 21 days will be on February 14 - Valentine's. What a great gift for myself to complete this task.

My goal is to do the Walk Away the Pounds 1-Mile everyday for 21 days.

Blah

Yesterday I woke up with a nasty migraine. Haven't had one that bad in a looong time. I've feeling a bit better today. Yesterday I was wondering if it's the weather that has had me feeling blah this week. God knows we need the rain, but it gets in the ways of doing things since I don't have a car at the moment. I've had a few errands to run but have had to put them on hold for tomorrow.

I've been trying some different eating and exercise habits this week. Still trying to figure out which one I like. Once I figure it out I'll let you know.

Rest In Peace

I was so shocked and sad to hear of Heath Ledger's death. I've always enjoy his movies. Such a shame.

My prayers go out to his family.

If only...

all weekends could be like this. I had a really enjoyable weekend, full of family and friends.

Excited

The pictures of the last two days have given me a lot of incentive of loosing weight. I have been so excited about it, it's hard to explain. I have taken long power walks for the exercise. Cut down on some of my eating.

I have also been taking my vitamins to help with the weight loss. The Metamucil type pills have really helped. I feel more full and less hungry all day.

Next week I am trying an eating plan that was given to me. I normally don't like to follow diet menu plans because I am a picky eater but this one is really easy to follow. I like most of the foods, and the one that I don't like I can easily replace it. The plan is for 30 days. I'll eventually share but I currently don't know how. The file is in excel, and I don't know how to put it in here.

Major Flashback

I was in my mom's basement looking for some old paperwork that I need. I came across these pictures.

I was about 18 1/2, and about 135 pounds. I so can be that weight again. (I hope!)

This is the hair lenght I want to do again and this is how I want to dress up again. Not all the time but for special occasion - the make-up, the jewelry, nice clothes.

The weight has really gotten in the way of me wanted to make myself up.

Gloomy Mood

I'm feeling in a gloomy mood. I had a really good weekend but yesterday we went in search of finding me an interview outfits. I no longer fit in clothes that were my fat size, I have gone a size bigger. I didn't like anything on me, including the dress I got but I was just besides myself by the time I picked out the dress.

Then to top it all off, this is my aunt. Sshe's 72 and looks so much better than I do. I need to center myself and really focus on my appearance. Many times I have started to work on my appearance but only get frustrated with all the work it take and then I give up.

Part of the reason for the other half of this blog is for me to prove to myself that I can start and finish a project. I have to extend that sentiment and motivation onto myself.

I'm still very excited with the news that if I loose one pound a week I can be at my goal weight by August. You have no idea how much I want it, but wanting it and actually doing the work is where the problem lays with me.

Mini vacay

I'm heading out today for a mini vacay, returning Sunday night.
Girls weekend of sorts. Going with my sister, nice and daughter to visit an aunt and uncle.

Side Note: With yesterdays flash back I woke up very inspired to exercise this morning. To be totally honest I haven't really been working out. I walk on and off but nothing constant.

Also, I took a little quiz which told me that if I loose a pound a week I will be at my goal weight by August. That seems doable to me. I've done it before, I am doing it again. Then there is also a huge incentive for August, we are having a huge family party. Great opportunity to show off my fabulous body.

Flash Back

This picture was taken Oct of 2006. I recall that when I saw the picture back then, I thought I looked bigger than what I perceived myself to be. Comparing them to the pictures of now, I would like to go back to that weight and start the weight loss from there.

One of the things I don't like about the recent my pictures is that my neck is not really visible. I don't know if I can really call what I have a double chin. Just my neck is slowly becoming part of my chin/face. Back then I still had a neck.

Soon, very soon I will be back to that weight.

Interview

I had an interview today, which I believe went really well.
This time around I haven't been nervous at all on the interviews (2) and test (2) I have had. Even the hubby is a bit surprised by my attitude towards my employment search. I have been a bit laid back in my search but that was only because of the holidays. Now that we have started a new year, I am going to be taking a more active approach. I have been sending in my resume a couple of times a week and that is how I ended up with the interviews I have had.

Today, I realized I need an interview outfit. I was feeling okay with what I wore but when I got to the interview I felt a little unease by what I was wearing. There were quite a few other candidates there (they were not all for the same position.) The men were dressed in nice suites and some are the females were wearing nice pants suites also. I figured I need two outfits, just in case I get called in for second interviews.

Since I have gained weight being at home these past few months, I really don't have anything presentable to wear. My dress pants are a bit snug and my tops don't look nice on me. I'm even a bit embarrassed typing this, but for the two interviews I wore one of the hubby's dress shirts.
I should be telling myself that I will loose the weight to fit into my clothes but I need to be realistic, I can't loose 20 pounds in a couple of weeks in order for my clothes to fit.

Hola

I've decided to make a companion blog for 365 Days of Me. On this blog I'll put my thoughts on the weigh loss journey and life in general.